My Suburban Escapes

“Any idiot can face a crisis;
it’s the day to day living that wears you out.

 Anton Chekhov

Now you’re a mom, the toughest job you’ll ever love.  For a fleeting moment in the long game, your life is not your own. You happily devote yourself to your little creatures, focusing all your energies on their nurture.  You are hemmed in by needs not your own.  The minutes creep by, but the years will fly. When they hit school age, you get a window of time to yourself again. Drop off is around 8am and pick up 3pm, leaving you seven glorious hours of freedom.  You crave to run with it, straining at the leash, but instead talk yourself off the adventure ledge and stick to the practical. You can’t take off today, no way, how selfish! Your “needs must” include grocery shopping, errands, cooking, housework, paying bills and hopefully some exercise.  Easy enough. It’s not the task, but the repetition of said task that can grind you down…and the pace at which it all occurs. Technology has ratcheted things up to a constant frenzy with the nonstop pings of texts, emails and phone calls. They can always find you. The “needs must” of others constantly harangue you, demanding immediate attention.  I enjoy it for a while, feeling like a supermom with multi-tasking powers. Then I just snap. I can feel it coming. When I do, I break away to remember none of it really matters.

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon;
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers;
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not. Great God! I’d rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathèd horn.

William Wordsworth

Forgive me for dragging you through English 101 again, but it’s interesting to note that Wordsworth snapped 200 years ago about the Industrial Revolution, and his advice was to immerse yourself in nature….as was Thoreau’s and Muir’s a hundred years later. We need to stay connected to the natural world to not risk becoming alienated from it.  Do yourself a favor and practice giving up the trappings of modernity on a regular basis. Step away from the computer, the I-phone, the laptop, the smart watch, the television. Use it (to plan your escape), then lose it.  Ditch the daily grind.  

Revitalization is an antidote to weariness. Not just exercise, but a re-awakening of the senses of wonder, independence and possibility.  Moms need to play too. We need to keep our sense of wonder alive and kickin’ in order to awaken the same in our children. Don’t just go through the motions.  Find the sublime in the everyday. This book is designed to be your pocket guide for escape.

Dust if you must, but wouldn’t it be better
To paint a picture, or write a letter,
Bake a cake, or plant a seed;
Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there’s not much time,
With rivers to swim, and mountains to climb;
Music to hear, and books to read;
Friends to cherish, and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world’s out there
With the sun in your eyes, and the wind in your hair;
A flutter of snow, a shower of rain,
This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it’s not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.

Rose Milligan