My Suburban Escapes

Oh goodness now I’ve gone and done it. I’ve fallen in love. With a friar. Actually 3 friars….and a retreat guide. Not the kind of love in the movies, but rather a healthy dose of “agape,” the Greek word for a love of everyone, whether family or strangers – God’s love. In a Lenten attempt to better understand the meaning of life, I attended an outdoor retreat. And now I can’t get Friars Erik, Sam and Fred out of my head….or my heart. 

They are cord-carrying members of the Capuchin Franciscan Order and live in a friary on top of the Holy Mountain of Graymoor. They wear the traditional habit of earthen brown tied at the waist by a white cord with three knots symbolizing their vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.  They were a bit intimidating at first, but I spied hiking boots and running shoes peeking out beneath their habits….and they wore Carhartt vests…and masks with white polka dots…and Fit Bits, all the same matching brown.  These clues emboldened me to ask candid questions which had nothing to do with the day’s lesson plan, but garnered honest answers. And guess what? They’re regular ol’ joes, like you and me (almost).  Except they’ve chosen God over everything else. They are the loveliest, wittiest, most thoughtful and intelligent of men, the best of the best. 

They came to the religious life from three separate paths: Erik from West Point, Sam from a career as a marine welder, and Fred as a lifer who started at the Capuchin high school seminary in Garrison 70 years ago.  Yet all were called. I romanticize the idea of a calling, but it’s only the beginning of an arduous lifelong process. The formation is the tough part.  When considering types of service, a friar asks: Does it advance the kingdom of God?  If the answer is yes, the work is approved. Sam is now a sculptor whose work validates the constant question: “Are you in this for yourself or for God?” 

We learned about Father Thomas Keating, founder of contemplative prayer, deep silent prayer, and Cynthia Bourgeaultwho carries on the work. We were introduced to centering prayer(the basis of meditation) – choosing a special word that takes you back to stillness when the monkey mind
begins its incessant chatter.  We discussed lectio divina, a contemplative way of reading the Bible established by Benedict in the 6^thcentury in which a short passage is read repeatedly, slowly and carefully until it begins to speak to you personally. 

These are all huge subjects worthy of a lifetime of study, and these introductions are a drop in the sea. But it’s a start. By day’s end my brain was like a sponge, too full to hold more. Even a chatterbox like me can recognize the concept of being quiet and still as a good thing. C.S. Lewis summed it up best in The Screwtape Lettersin 1942:  Senior Demon is talking to Junior Tempter about his career. He explains that the plan is quite simple: to create so much noise in the world that Man can no longer hear the voice of God.  As if on the cue of penning this, my phones rang, texts and emails pinged in, my dryer buzzed and someone knocked on my door. That’s life in 2021. The noise is so constant it’s hard to hear anything, much less the voice of God. But we’ve just had a year of possibility on which to build a habit of silence, a good thing that came of pandemic. Keep that part and throw away the rest. Seek silence. 

“Go placidly amid the noise and haste
and remember what peace there may in be silence.”

Desiderata.

For a spiritual tune-up, get thee to a friary:

Graymoor Spiritual Center, Garrison (atonementfriars.org) 845.424.3671. 
Located on a mountaintop overlooking the Hudson River Valley, facilities include overnight accommodations and a thrift shop called That Nothing Be Lost. I did a day retreat with Skip Doyleentitled “The Spiritual Directions.”  (Outdoor Skipper.com)

Omega Institute, Rhinebeck Campus (eomega.org) 845.580.9049
Founded in 1977 by an Eastern scholar, a holistic medical doctor and an educator, it was named for the “Omega Point,” a term coined by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (20^thcentury Jesuit priest and evolutionary biologist) which means the point of unity toward which all of life is constantly evolving…a movement toward unity, balance and wholeness within an individual and in the culture at large. Offers a varied menu of self-improvement possibilities to hurl you toward your Omega Point. On campus programs begin again in summer 2021.

Linwood Spiritual Center, Rhinebeck (linwoodspiritual.com) 845.876.4178. 
The former homestead of General Thomas Tillotson, surgeon general of George Washington’s Continental Army. A fascinating history brought it into the hands of the nuns in 1964, and the current Spiritual Center was built in 1998. It is the ministry and residential property of The Sisters of Saint Ursula. Sleep, Eat, Pray. Individual, groups and guided retreats offered. 

Wainwright House,Rye (wainwright.org) 914.967.6080
It’s not just that pretty house on the way down to the clubs. Its mission is “toserve as the inspiring backdrop for bringing people together to cultivate connection, creativity, and growth through programs that inspire creative exploration, self-discovery and spiritual awakening.” They are the oldest nonprofit, non-sectarian holistic learning center in the nation, offering world-class workshops, trainings and retreats. 

Legionaries of Christ.Regnum Christi Tri State(regnumchristinyctnj.org) 914.244.3685. 
The Legion of Christ is a Roman Catholic religious congregation of priests and men studying for the priesthood.The headquarters for the tri-state region is in Rye. They offer retreats, daily meditations and spiritual workshops, mostly still on-line.

Thomas Keating. The father of contemplative prayer who died at 94 in 2018, but remains very much alive in videos in which he sounds like Clarence from “It’s A Wonderful Life”-  humorous and lighthearted about the most serious of matters – the individual spiritual journey. Bouillon cube of his philosophy: “Silence is God’s first language. Everything else is a poor translation,” Watch “A Life Surrendered to Love” on contemplativeoutreach.org.

Matthew Kelly. A bold and funny Aussie who makes it all so clear. Bouillon cube of his teaching: we all have a “hole” for God which nothing else can fill. Watch “Man Up Phillip 2019” on YouTube.     

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

    Psalm 46:10